I find it very sad that one can not voice an opinion anymore, with out being brutally attacked and then shunned here on social media-especially on this social media platform.
This happened to me last year, and now just recently to an online friend as well. I am an elder now and don't ever remember not being able to sit down and discuss issues with others where both sides listen to the other. Our blogs are our personal space where we share with others-if what is written does not suit you-then move on.
I get frustrated and saddened when this continues to occur. Visiting different blogs, I see some that comment all super nice and friendly on some blogs and then I see them brutally attack in comments someone else-No one should be hurt this way--makes me think would these people do this in person? I am thinking in many cases not.
So what do you do to protect yourself from this? If you stand up to these "bullies" they will continue most likely, if you leave your social media or turn off all comments "they" win.
I know there has always been bullies in the world but this has become worse in recent years.
Many of us seniors including me have very little contact with people other than our social media sites. The only people I interact with is when I go food shopping or get packages delivered. So I have always valued my contacts on social media. I have expanded that with my slow mail friends now.
Just thoughts I wanted to share, since I have a friend hurting right now.
Be Kind to one another-why is this so difficult?
I enjoy discussion. I enjoy discussion even when there's spirited disagreement. Some folks don't want disagreement in their own FB or blog spaces. I respect that and try my best to remember which folks are more sensitive. I've never seen the kinds of brutal attacks you describe, but sometimes I'm not good about reading the comments other folks have left. I'm sorry you've experienced this unpleasantness.
ReplyDeletegood morning thank you for commenting. Yes if both parties don't mind a lively discussion-nothing wrong about that-but when people come to your page and brutally attack because they don't agree with you-that is just not kind.
DeleteWhen I worked for Volkswagen we had a portal with a "mini-e-bay" just for them. They had no aliases.
ReplyDeleteCertainly no job offers aka black labor were allowed.
I had this one guy, he offered the latter. I wrote "Hello Mr...." and explained why I had deleted his offer.
Two minutes later I got an e-mail back. No greeting and everything in upper case.
I thought, hm, would he stomp into my office and yell at me like that? This went back and forth, then the phone rang, I didn´t take the call. Next our secretary, there is a Volkswagen customer yelling he wants to talk to me.
Boy, a) I´m not nailed to my chair (!) and b) no.
My teamleader sat in this office, too, and
agreed to take the call. This man was yelling that loud I understood every word.
I think because he had technology and not face to face. And also because we were "but" external.
I had one customer who´d offered in case of "emergency" I can contact him, did and 5 minutes later he called me and said that man is quiet now.
Some people are just dumb. That man was the winner in this!
Other I so far had nothing rude, sometimes dumb advertisement, I simply delete that.
One blogger told me, and I saw the comments, there is a woman who always starts nicely just to end with "but I know/can do better than you". In the end he asked her to stop commenting on his blog. She continued for a while and in the same manner. He never answered on hers (but on everybody else´s), so she gave up.
the world is a crazy place for sure-commented back my email thank you Iris
DeleteAs history teaches, Kathy, unfortunately people are not kind. Many times they have bad attitude, they try to hurt the other just because they want to feel better (see the war in Ukraine now and how proud the Russians are because they get back "their" former territories). Exactly the same happens to social media too. This is the reason why I am not on FB and on other social media. And this is reason why I do not express any personal opinions on my blog, I do not talk about politics, but I only show my creations. This is my way to be protected from such bad behaviors. I understand that this is difficult for you because you do not live in a big town, like me. I do not know what to tell you on how to protect yourself, I just wanted to tell you what I am doing. Hugs, sweetie. Please enjoy your serenity, sit on your balcony, get a cup of tea/coffee and stay there to see the lake.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mia, this was mostly written for my friend and to make people aware of this behavior. commented more through email
DeleteWith a smile and kind words you can make many friends. Let's do this so we don't hurt each other.
ReplyDeleteMy love to you Kathy
yes a good smile and kindness goes a very long way-hugs
DeleteMany people are very unkind to one another. Sorry i you get attacked. Friends can be from different races, religions and have different oppinions we have to learn to respect one another. Big hugs, Valerie
ReplyDeleteI agree time for respect, kindness, and just open hearts
DeleteWell, I am a person that does not enjoy political opinions on the blogs I follow. I usually scroll through with no comment. I have also deleted friends on FB who continually post political pieces. Most people do not educate themselves of the facts. I choose who I debate.
ReplyDeletethanks Carol, I agree most that yell the loudest do not educate themselves on the facts. and I do understand that these are art and crafts blogs and sharing of life happenings-but once in awhile if someone does say something political-readers that don't agree should just move on, be civil and don't comment
Deletethanks for commenting
it’s really sad. Such hateful intolerance has ruined a lot of friendships and family relationships. I don’t see it ending any time soon.
ReplyDeletesadly I don't either My brother who still lives in our home state of Indiana-dropped us because of something we said about Trump several years ago-and he isn't even liberal. total craziness
DeleteSome people just need to be mean. It makes them feel tougher or better I guess. Sometimes I also find it is hard in a comment to tell if they are being mean or if they are being sarcastic or just speaking their opinion too bluntly. It is one problem when you only have a few words and no facial expressions. Anyhow, that being said, I agree. There is no need to be mean spirited. What good does it do? I always found being nice gets you far further in the world than being mean. hugs-Erika
ReplyDeleteso agree with you Erika, no reason for meanness anytime. I know there are a few comments that it is hard to tell if that person is being mean on purpose or sarcastic or if that is just their personality coming through. Just as easy to be kind instead hugs thank you for commenting
DeleteStrong political or sensitive current event opinions rarely go well in blog land.
ReplyDeleteEspecially since the last major election. There is a large population holding beliefs not supported by facts and common sense. Good people. Add pandemic tension to that atmosphere, posting about controversial issues thinking nobody will react badly is naive.
It is sad your blog friend is having problems. When I experienced heart battering bullies, (many years ago not here), after a break down, I moved on. I read the print outs I saved of their comments sometimes, to remind myself that it wasn't about me. Bad people are just bad people.
Note...Disagreeing with good people, does not make anyone a bad person. Some bloggers get hyper if you don't agree with them.
There's not enough information about your friend to know what is what.
thank you for commenting
DeleteWords can be so cruel. Whoever first said sticks and stones etc., was NOT giving good advice. Words HURT, often as much as physical abuse. Gaslighting, guilt tripping, and other psychological tricks are used to demean and keep a person down, just like an abuser who beats his/her spouse.
ReplyDeleteI was reading Jeanie's latest post and she was talking about melt downs. I know I said things to a friend on the internet I wanted to take back as soon as I said them. Luckily, our friendship is so strong, I was able to apologize. I was just feeling the pain of loneliness, of living alone, and being in total isolation during the Covid crisis.
I know sometimes it's hard to interpret whether a person is being serious or not, so when I'm not sure how they will take my often quirky, dry sense of humor, I add a (grin) so they know what I am saying is to be taken in jest. I hope your friend is able to ignore the horrible remarks you allude to, Kathy.
thank you so much for commenting-hugs
DeleteThis is upsetting Kathy! I do feel for your friend! For some time now I have noticed,mostly on facebook, that there are certain people who seem to thrive on responding in a nasty,disagreeable way as if they enjoy provoking readers. I enjoy a discussion on most topics even politics (in the right context)but what I call a healthy discussion where one respects the respondents opinion and vice versa. I am happy to receive constructive criticism because one learns from this and it also gives much food for thought.However I do not tolerate an antagonistic approach and will end the conversation and even the contact with that person. I do think we constantly have to remind ourselves that we are "conversing" using text which cannot always accurately convey tone and emotions or get the message across clearly. In my case I have to be careful as I am rather outspoken and albeit too direct at times. Thank goodness for emoticons which can lighten the effect of our words. keep well. Amanda x
ReplyDeleteagree healthy exchange is good, a way to learn from each other hugs
DeleteWell, I think I could be that person who was quite vocal about not liking Mr. Trump. I don't like him, but I know I should keep my opinions to myself. Especially since I was attacked by a family member for NOT liking Trump! Seems like I'd learn a lesson! I'm sorry if I have offended you-because I certainly can move on past my own feelings. I have many acquantances who don't feel like I do, and we just ignore it and agree about stuff that's more important....
ReplyDeleteif "we" all were a little kinder it would go a long way. The civics in this country have diminished. We have become tribal in our opinions. Certainly, we can agree on more, than we disagree. There's plenty of middle ground.
ReplyDeleteVelva-Evening with a sandwich
so agree, thank you for commenting
DeleteSo sorry to hear about yours and your friend's experiences Kathy. I always say if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. There's no need for nastiness on these platforms.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs,
Alison
Yep that's what I was taught by my parents-thanks for commenting
Delete